Deep down, she's a wreck. Just hoping to get her life back on track. Everything she does just don't seem right, through her smile she hides her plight.
Every night her tears will roll. With every might, but she cant control. All that make sense, bursting like bubbles, and now she feels so vulnerable.
All her dreams seems so far away, dissipating like smoke as she twirls and sways. She pictured herself a few times before, thoughts raced her mind, as she tries to explore. She cries for help and reaches out; for a hand to hold through her times of doubt.
But every time there's a pair of hands, a slap so tight, on her face it lands. Hoping for a rebound her cry grows faint, praying to god to take away her pain.
She contemplates suicide, but she don't want to die. As she hits the floor, she curls up and lie. She distant herself from absurdity, As she tries to catch up with reality.
Happy birthday to my dearest 'Azzah!! i love you very much.. MWAHHHHS!!
Date:Thursday, May 21, 2009
|| Time: 3:03 PM
I'm all out of my elements, crying, trying to figure out where the hell i went wrong. the pain reflected here's not even half of what i'm feeling inside
Met up with my girls after school and chilled at starbucks. headed to nisa's and went home at about 12. We talked about secondary school days. From Mrs Koh, to our dark histories, to hockey, to major crushes, and of course... our past school sweethearts. Some i dont even recall.
i have no more strength to go trough this, sick and tired of being pushed around. don't look down on me and quit being a bloody hypocrite.
My dreadful daily routine -go to school (sent by father) -after school, FYP (if there is) - go home (fetched by father)
- afternoon nap-wake up at about 9-11 pm and complete RJ -my everyday chores (ironing and helping mommy cook) without fail - watch some youtube and go back to sleep after 3 am
i miss my AFN girls,the old us when we can go crazy and couldn't care less about what other people think. the old us before this stupid thing started. the old us when we would sit in a circle crying and pouring our heart out at the PCCG corner/library/or wherever. the old us who used to make me laugh till i cried. the old us sitting in the library and have a fating/burping contest. the old us who used to scold me whenever i made a bad judgement on boys. i miss us! i really really miss US.. [even though they always made fun of me and how i always spoil our pictures i miss them]
i miss nadear:(
i miss going out and meeting up with naddy dearest and hanjie bee bee and yat(timah?) after work :(
i miss squeezing hanzie's moobies:)
i miss feeling like a part of a team (was i ever?)
i miss making random plans and hanging out till my father calls to reprimand me
i miss feeling all fluttery inside [feeling loved ]
i miss being daddy's little girl and crying non-stop over nothing till he persuade me to stop
above all, i miss you
Date:Monday, May 11, 2009
|| Time: 2:18 AM
HAPPY AFN DAY MY LOVELIES!!
one by one everyone's drifting apart.
Date:Wednesday, May 6, 2009
|| Time: 3:19 PM
i hate today's class. i hate it when people try to act smart and smoke their way through when they do not even know anything
siti! you should have been there.. watched 17 again [again] with jannah and met her friends afterwards what a small world, they're best friends with N2 lots of awkward moments -__-
------------------------------------------------- watched FRIDAY THE 13th with naddy on monday. we screamed to the gore scenes. lots of tits flashing. my favourite scene is when jason killed the asian guy with the screw driver cool shit!
Deep down, she's a wreck. Just hoping to get her life back on track. Everything she does just don't seem right, through her smile she hides her plight.
Every night her tears will roll. With every might, but she cant control. All that make sense, bursting like bubbles, and now she feels so vulnerable.
All her dreams seems so far away, dissipating like smoke as she twirls and sways. She pictured herself a few times before, thoughts raced her mind, as she tries to explore. She cries for help and reaches out; for a hand to hold through her times of doubt.
But every time there's a pair of hands, a slap so tight, on her face it lands. Hoping for a rebound her cry grows faint, praying to god to take away her pain.
She contemplates suicide, but she don't want to die. As she hits the floor, she curls up and lie. She distant herself from absurdity, As she tries to catch up with reality.
Happy birthday to my dearest 'Azzah!! i love you very much.. MWAHHHHS!!
Date:Thursday, May 21, 2009
|| Time: 3:03 PM
I'm all out of my elements, crying, trying to figure out where the hell i went wrong. the pain reflected here's not even half of what i'm feeling inside
Met up with my girls after school and chilled at starbucks. headed to nisa's and went home at about 12. We talked about secondary school days. From Mrs Koh, to our dark histories, to hockey, to major crushes, and of course... our past school sweethearts. Some i dont even recall.
i have no more strength to go trough this, sick and tired of being pushed around. don't look down on me and quit being a bloody hypocrite.
My dreadful daily routine -go to school (sent by father) -after school, FYP (if there is) - go home (fetched by father)
- afternoon nap-wake up at about 9-11 pm and complete RJ -my everyday chores (ironing and helping mommy cook) without fail - watch some youtube and go back to sleep after 3 am
i miss my AFN girls,the old us when we can go crazy and couldn't care less about what other people think. the old us before this stupid thing started. the old us when we would sit in a circle crying and pouring our heart out at the PCCG corner/library/or wherever. the old us who used to make me laugh till i cried. the old us sitting in the library and have a fating/burping contest. the old us who used to scold me whenever i made a bad judgement on boys. i miss us! i really really miss US.. [even though they always made fun of me and how i always spoil our pictures i miss them]
i miss nadear:(
i miss going out and meeting up with naddy dearest and hanjie bee bee and yat(timah?) after work :(
i miss squeezing hanzie's moobies:)
i miss feeling like a part of a team (was i ever?)
i miss making random plans and hanging out till my father calls to reprimand me
i miss feeling all fluttery inside [feeling loved ]
i miss being daddy's little girl and crying non-stop over nothing till he persuade me to stop
above all, i miss you
Date:Monday, May 11, 2009
|| Time: 2:18 AM
HAPPY AFN DAY MY LOVELIES!!
one by one everyone's drifting apart.
Date:Wednesday, May 6, 2009
|| Time: 3:19 PM
i hate today's class. i hate it when people try to act smart and smoke their way through when they do not even know anything
siti! you should have been there.. watched 17 again [again] with jannah and met her friends afterwards what a small world, they're best friends with N2 lots of awkward moments -__-
------------------------------------------------- watched FRIDAY THE 13th with naddy on monday. we screamed to the gore scenes. lots of tits flashing. my favourite scene is when jason killed the asian guy with the screw driver cool shit!
